My most recent cheese experience happened just a few days past. Chance had it that I was to be in this most bicurious situation. I say bicurious for good reasons, all of which shall be explained in due time. Now, ‘tis important to give way to some background facts. I was raised in West Blaine, where the cheese fields had experienced years of poor crops. Hwhenever I could find a few cents, whether by search or by luck, I would travel a days journey to the convenience store to purchase cheese from lightyears away. Now, the situation I once endured was much worse than I have let on. My parents were avid beer connoisseurs, and thus never consumed Hwine, which goes ever so well with Cheesus. It does not need to be said, but this lack of Cheesus in my realm, because of my parents’ way of life, made me yearn for something more in my life. “Thanks be to Cheesus!” I would always preech to my friends. I had found my following, to be a messenger of cheese. Thus, my life has been a selfless journey of tasting and sharing cheeses of all cheesigions.

Now, let us return to my most recent cheese experience. I was traveling in the middle east/Asia area, and happened across something magnificent. It was Gouda. The cheeigion of slowly aged cheesus. This experience has changed my life thus far, and I hope to spread it across crackers and other cheese lovers alike.

Cheesemen.